Some of the hardest lessons we learn in life come from how we respond to tragedies and disasters. We can feel overwhelmed, we may collapse into grief, or we may rail at heaven for allowing us to suffer this way. Each response is legitimate while the pain is still raw. But at some point we have to move forward. And one of the best ways to hold on and regain our strength is by regaining our sense of gratitude.

Now it may feel impossible to be grateful when life seems to be falling apart. But in some deep part of our consciousness, we know that it is what we need. We learned to walk by standing up and falling over, we learned how to play through skinned knees and maybe a black eye or two. We learned how to love even as our hearts were broken.

At every tough point in our lives, we have had the chance to give up, or pick ourselves up and start again. Gratitude comes when we recognize that picking ourselves up makes us stronger than if we had never fallen down in the first place.

St. Paul wrote “In all things give thanks.” We don’t have to try and give thanks FOR all things. That may just beyond us. But we can give thanks IN all things, in spite of, within, and during all things.

What are some things we can be thankful for? If nothing else, there is the opportunity to be grateful that the crisis is over. The aftermath may be devastating, but at least we have made it to the point when we can begin to rebuild.

It can help to take a good look around and give thanks for every good thing we see: our loved ones and friends, our community, people who reach out to us. Then there is the simple fact that life goes on, and that every day we can gain more strength to move forward.

It is an old cliché that “it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” We could say that about so many things in life. It is better to have tried and failed, it is better to have felt pain than felt nothing at all. If we can find gratitude for all those things we tried, and be happy about the experience, then we can use some of that gratitude to help us through the toughest times.

It’s okay to put gratitude on hold, just not for too long. When things are just too hard, you may be unable to see beyond the pain you are feeling. But you can still hang on to the idea that you will make it through, knowing that each day you will be stronger, and more grateful than you were the day before. Someday, looking back, it still may never be a happy time. But you will have come through it, and that will be a day to truly be thankful for.

Has gratitude helped you become stronger? Use the comments below to tell us about it. We’d enjoy hearing from you.

I recently read a profound definition of gratitude that really resonated with something deep within me: “Gratitude is an unconditional love for life.” Doesn’t that just ring with truth? Think about someone who you love unconditionally—a parent, a spouse, a child, or a friend. When you call up an image of this person in your mind’s eye, you feel an instant warmth (the warmth of love) and you know that there is nothing that person could do that could ever change your love for them. When we take on a mindset of gratitude, we are professing our unconditional love of life. We are committing ourselves to a vision of life that accentuates the positive, much the same way that we choose to look for the good in people whom we love. We look past the flaws and choose instead to dwell on what brings us joy.

• People you rely on.

Who are the people who make up your inner circle? I’m not talking about just your friends and family but all of the people who you see on a daily basis, the people who you can count on for something day in and day out. Maybe it’s something you’ve started to take for granted– a hug from your child or a kiss goodbye from your spouse. Perhaps it’s something as seemingly inconsequential as a smile from a coworker. Close your eyes and think about waking up one morning and realizing that all of those things are gone.

• People who rely on you.

If you’re like most of us, your life is crazy busy. You’ve got so many things to do and so many people who are counting on you to do them. But what if they weren’t? Isn’t it far better to be needed?

• The freedom to choose.

Sometimes, we feel stuck in situations and think we’re powerless to change them. But that’s just an illusion. The reality is that we do have a choice. If we don’t like where we live, we can move. If we don’t like our jobs, we can quit. It may take a lot of work and a lot of time, but it is possible. And when all else fails, we have the freedom to change our minds about the situation.

• The opportunity to meet new people.

Every one of us is unique, and every one of us has something powerful to offer the world. As social creatures, we have the amazing ability to interact with and learn from one another. Every time you meet a new person, you can look forward to the gift or lesson that he or she will bring into your life.

• Your senses.

There are so many ways that we can take in the world, and each of them are equally amazing. Recall the last sunset you witnessed. The smell of apple pie.The sound of a lone bird chirping outside your window. The gentle touch of someone you love.

Life can deal us some hard blows, and when it does, it’s easy to see the world through a tinted lens. Just remember, there is always something to be grateful for when you love life unconditionally. What are you grateful for right now?