Losing your job unexpectedly can feel like someone punched you in the stomach. For a minute you can’t breathe, you can’t focus, and you can’t really take in what just happened to you. Words may echo vaguely in your head…words like cutbacks, layoffs, closing down. But it doesn’t make sense. Surely, there’s been a mistake.

Then the reality hits you. Your job is over. Your paycheck is gone. And, you might wonder, who are you if you are not defined by your work?

How to Deal With the Stress of Losing Your Job

Let out the physical pain. Even though your head is spinning, you probably have enough strength to clean out your desk or walk to your car. And you might phone someone. But about now, you start to break down. You may sob, you may scream, you may pound your steering wheel, and that’s okay.

Don’t try to drive. Just let out as much of the anger, hurt, and frustration as you can. Get out and walk around, stomp, kick or do something else physical that will release the adrenaline without hurting yourself or anyone else.

When you feel calmer, you can assess where you are and begin to move forward. But let that pain out first, or you will carry it with you, to resurface again and again.

Get past the blame. It is not unusual to want to blame someone or something for taking your job away…the leaders of your company, the economy, or yourself. You shouldn’t beat yourself up for initially feeling this way, but don’t hang on to it either.

Make a plan to meditate or exercise to calm yourself, before you have a chance to feel bitter. Be proactive about remaining positive. If you realize your thoughts are starting to turn to blame, you will have a plan in place to switch to forgiveness, acceptance, and gratitude.

Turn to your Source. However you define God, or your higher power, go there as much as you can. Meditate, pray, pour your heart out, lay down your burdens, and find peace. Keeping that divine connection open throughout your transition will give you strength and guide your intuition toward the right path.

Remember, losing a job does not make you a loser. There’s a cliché that “someday we’ll look back on this and laugh,” and it’s surprisingly true. Sometimes we need to be unsettled to find out what we really want.

Look at all your skills and talents. Look at all you’ve learned. Focus on all you have to offer, and all the great things you have left to do.

Get help wherever you need to. Use the tools on our website. Talk with trusted friends, or a support group. The loss of a beloved job causes grief like any other loss. But it can also

Have you faced a job loss? What helped you get through it? We would enjoy hearing from you, below.  And please share this on your favorite social media outlet.

 

None of us are strangers to stress. It’s a fact of life. But do we really know how important it is to deal with stress when it happens, or the damage accumulated stress can do? Insomnia, binge eating, or pains in your neck, are only a few symptoms of chronic stress. You could be overly stressed and not even know it.

Why is it so Important to Deal with Stress?

The effects of stress expand like a rolling snowball. Know how a snowball grows as it rolls downhill? Stress is like that. A little stress here and there may not feel like much, but left unattended, it can lead to serious health consequences.

Whenever we feel stressed, our bodies release adrenaline and stress hormones like cortisol. These are a life saver if we’re in significant danger. But unfortunately, our brains don’t distinguish between facing a deadline and facing an oncoming train.

Adrenaline raises our blood pressure and speeds up our heart rate. The Mayo Clinic reports that the release of cortisol alters our immune system and slows down digestive functions. This explains why cortisol is so often linked with weight gain. But stress hormones also slow down brain function. And fuzzy thinking when you need to be sharp just creates more stress.

No one symptom of unmanaged stress exists alone. Every effect of stress on our bodies is connected to other stress reactions, whether we feel it or not.

Increased blood pressure can lead to heart attack or stroke. Weight gain can lead to diabetes, coronary artery disease, and high blood pressure. Lack of sleep can lead to weight gain, which leads to…get the picture?

Diseases caused or aggravated by stress are connected like a spider web. Today’s twinge can be tomorrow’s debilitating illness. But only if you let it.

You can stop the stress web before it gets out of control. Spider webs start one strand at a time. They can become enormous, but if you sweep them up when they’re tiny, they’re no big deal. Think of sweeping out stress the same way. Tackle the small things and you’ll have far fewer big things to worry about.

1. Meditate…soon and often. Slowing your breathing in even a quick meditation will keep you from hyper-ventilating when stress hits, and calm you down. Restoring calm reduces stress hormones, and helps you regain control. 

Continued meditation practice over time can reduce blood pressure, relieve pain, and better prepare you to face future stress. It may even help you recognize when things are simply not worth getting worked up about.

2. Recognize how you react to stress. Become aware of your own personal stress responses. Anger, physical pain, anxiety, and depression are just a few ways our  bodies           react,  and turning to food or alcohol for help just makes it worse.

Expel the stress by physical exertion, or calming techniques. Let go of any bad coping behaviors and consciously choose more positive ways to relax. This way you can beat the stress of today, and be far healthier tomorrow.

While losing a job is a jolt, the initial shock doesn’t last long before you can start moving forward. But what if that was months ago? How do you deal with the stress of long term unemployment, which just seems to sap a little more out of you every day?

The longer you go without a job, the more apt you are to see you where you are today as where you will always be. The Proverb tells us that “as a man thinketh, so is he.” If we want to stop being jobless, we need to stop thinking about not having one. We need to change both our self image and our point of view.

Unemployment zaps our confidence. It can be exciting to look for a new job. Maybe that kick out the door at the last one was exactly what we needed. We update our resumes and really pour our hearts into every application.

Then we wait.

Then the stress starts. You begin to doubt your abilities. Your confidence starts to lag. But, hey tomorrow is another day, right? So you are up and at it, sure that the perfect opportunity is right around the corner.

And then you wait. And maybe watch a little daytime TV. With a bag of cookies. In your bathrobe.

How can we deal with the stress of long term unemployment, if we’re wallowing in it on the couch?

Snap out of it! If you have someone who loves you and pulls you off the sofa, bless them. If not, you have to be your own drill sergeant, and to resist being sucked down into the mire of bad behavior. You need to get up, take a shower (feels so good), and be your Mom and your own best friend, rolled into one.

Your Mom would say, “eat right and stand up straight.” How you feel inside is reflected in your confidence outside. Ice cream may feed your need for solace, but it will not find you a new career. Good nutrition now is crucial, as your body is under even more stress than you had at work.

Not only will junk food make you feel sluggish, it plays havoc with how you look. If your job applications go unanswered, you can feel no one wants you. Or will ever want you. The last thing you need is a reflection that reinforces how unwanted you feel.

A drill sergeant would say “push-ups, now!” It doesn’t have to be push-ups, but you need to exercise, get your blood flowing, and release some endorphins into your beleaguered brain. You will feel better, and in more control of your future. And you will exhibit more energy and strength in a job interview or even on the phone.

Your best friend would say “enough of this.” Even best friends get tired of negativity. You need to stop dwelling on your problems, and release them instead. One of the best ways to do this is with meditations designed to turn your attention away from the bad place where you are, and focus your attention on where you want to be.

Getting a new job takes work, perseverance and strategy. You chances of success go way up, if you don’t let the stress of unemployment get you down.

If you found this helpful, please let us know, and share with your social media friends.

 

If you’ve ever experienced losing your job, you know the hurt and frustration. But, how do you deal with the stress when your spouse loses a job?

You feel some of the same shock and hurt, but this time you also have to be a comforter, cheerleader, coach, and the sole financial provider for your family. This is no easy task.

4 Different Stresses – On your spouse, your family, your relationship, and on you.

The stress you feel when your spouse loses a job is a multi-line attack. You know you need to support your partner, boost his self esteem and encourage his efforts. But that doesn’t mean you know the best thing to say.

If you have children, they need comfort, and reassurance, and your relationship has needs of its own. You want to help your partner, but you may also feel guilty if you don’t always feel as supportive as you think you should.

It’s OK to admit it. You may be mad as hell.

How to Deal With the Stress When Your Spouse Loses a Job

When you first hear the news that your spouse is unemployed, you feel deeply sorry for what you spouse is going through. But you may also feel angry, and not know why. Are you mad at your spouse for somehow letting you down? Or are you mad at life? It doesn’t really matter. You can face it easier if you accept it as normal, like the anger that comes with grief.

Let that anger go, and make a plan to deal with the stress of your spouse’s unemployment.

1.   Comfort and encourage first. There will be plenty of time to tackle your budget. Right now your partner needs to know he is still loved and accepted. If you practice a religious tradition, this can be an excellent time to reach out together in prayer, and take comfort in your faith.

2.   Count your blessings. Give thanks for all the good that is still in your life. Acknowledge the strength you’ve gained from past challenges, and be confident you can overcome this as well.

3.   Cheer for your team, while momentum is high. After the initial shock, your spouse may experience a burst of creative energy. Capture that “we can do this” confidence, and applaud his efforts.

4.   Don’t cancel your gym membership. Any kind of strength training can combat feelings of powerlessness that occur while waiting for interviews. And meditative exercises like yoga or tai chi help calm frayed nerves.

5.   Find your center…for stress yet to come. The first few weeks of unemployment are the easiest to get through. Use that time as much as possible to meditate and stay calm, because you’ll need it if the stress of unemployment drags on.

6.   Become a “tough love” coach. It’s an old story. You come home from a long day at work, and find your unemployed husband (or wife) still in pajamas and the house a mess. You don’t know whether to scream or sob.

Your spouse may have started the day with big plans, but quickly became discouraged and overwhelmed. Burying your resentment helps no one. A good coach wouldn’t let him slide, and neither can you.

Coping with the stress when your spouse loses a job is never easy, and you don’t have to do it alone. Whether it is a job coach or a counselor, help is out there. Getting your spouse up and outside, even if for a long walk, helps break the cycle of defeat, and may remind him that you are still a team.

Have you experienced the stress of a spouse losing a job? We’d like to hear it. And don’t forget to share us on social media.