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How To Deal With Stress When Pregnant

By Janet Wolfe | April 8, 2021

When you are pregnant your life can get turned upside down by changes to your body, happy plans, and often unexpected stress. Even if you are thrilled, do you know how to deal with stress when pregnant if you don’t know what may happen in your job, your apartment is too small, or you’re are afraid you can’t handle the expenses? Like most other stressful situations, you’ll be most successful taking it one step at a time.

Make yourself priority #1. If you’ve ever needed a reason to take time for yourself, this is it. You can’t handle any kind of stress if you are over tired or undernourished, and now you have an extra little person who needs you at your best. Pregnancy can be a wonderful time to reexamine all the different demands on your time and energy, and purposefully let go of the ones that don’t really matter.

Get outside advice or help for whatever causes you to lose sleep. Review your insurance coverage if you have any worries about delivery expenses, or work up a plan with a financial advisor. If you are concerned about your job, ask your boss for an honest conversation about how long you can work before your delivery, and the impact of parenthood on your work schedule.

Getting your lifestyle questions answered early in your pregnancy will save you from hanging on to lingering worries over time. Sometimes we increase our stress by anticipating negative situations that may never occur.

Try Pregnancy Yoga. Many Yoga studios have classes specifically for expectant mothers, which offer a whole host of benefits all at once. Yoga’s deep breathing is a first class stress buster, and the gentle poses help you work out some of the aches and kinks your body is going through. Some adherents say that the meditative nature of Yoga practice helps moms-to-be actually feel a deeper connection with their babies while they stretch and breathe. And it only seems natural that an exercise that can make you feel so good, would make your baby feel good as well.

Yoga for pregnancy DVD’s are also available if there are no classes in your area, or you would rather do it on your own. That being said, if you have never done Yoga before, do try and find a trainer before you practice alone, to ensure you avoid any injury.

Keep your partner involved, and keep each other cozy. The more you share both your joys and your worries with your partner, the easier it will be to let go of stress when pregnant. Take time to just relax together and be close. Being grateful for your relationship, and allowing yourself to feel cherished, reduces negative energy and builds emotional strength.

If this is not your first time being pregnant, then let it be a family affair. Children can be stressed, too, if your pregnancy makes them feel left out. The more you bring everyone together in love, the less stress each of you will feel.

Visualize health and happiness for your baby. One of the most exciting moments in pregnancy is seeing an ultra sound image of your baby for the first time. There is nothing like a picture to evoke our deepest feelings. You can use that same idea to evoke feelings of harmony and wellbeing by visualizing your baby healthy, strong, and happy inside you, and yourself at peace and relaxed.

Practice breathing deeply, and allow yourself to rest in the joy of your growing child. And picturing your delivery as a happy experience can help calm fears you may have about it, especially if you tend to imagine things like a tsunami wiping out all the roads the minute you head to the hospital.

Don’t be afraid to talk out your fears, with someone you trust. If you don’t have much family around to help you, or they are the type who love sharing all the struggles they had, find supportive friends or an experienced midwife who can reassure you.

I used to know a doctor who had hundreds of snapshots of happy moms and newborns in his waiting room. His caring and joyful attitude helped his patients relieve their stress when pregnant, because he knew it would all be okay, and they believed him.

Remember you are part of a miracle. There is nothing more miraculous than creating life, so rejoice in the miracle you are part of. Then let your stress go.

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What Are The Best Meditation Methods For Anxiety?

By Janet Wolfe | April 1, 2021

While all types of meditation are good for you, some work better than others for specific situations. If you are stressed and anxious, you may be wondering what are the best meditation methods for anxiety that will give you the quickest chance to calm down.

Oxygen in, anxiety out.

Anxiety attacks tend to cause shortness of breath, which deprives your body of the very oxygen it needs to regain control. Your pulse races, and in severe cases, you might even feel like you are going to pass out.

Slow, focused, deep breathing can make a quick difference in how you feel. Try and breathe not from your chest, but deep within your diaphragm, letting your abdomen expand and fill your body with air. Close your eyes and count slowly while you breathe. At least for a moment think of nothing but your breath flowing in and out.

Move and breathe with walking meditation.

When you are anxious, the idea of sitting down to meditate can seem impossible. So walking meditation is especially helpful when anxiety hits. It is no accident that expectant fathers pace in hospital waiting rooms. The act of walking back and forth really does relieve your mind.

In walking meditation all you have to do is focus your attention on each step you take. Continue to breathe, concentrate your awareness on the motion of walking, and let everything else fall away. You do not need much space for walking meditation. Monks from many faith traditions are often seen walking and meditating quietly within a simple garden. Any quiet place will do.

The motion of gentle walking helps healing oxygen flow throughout your body. And focusing your awareness takes your mind away from the causes of your stress.

Mantras and centering prayer can ease anxiety now, and protect against it later.

Once you have calmed your initial anxiety and stress through deep breathing and walking meditation, you can shift more easily into a stationary meditative practice. Mantras or short meditative prayers, repeated slowly while continuing focused breathing can be very beneficial for anxiety.

While a mantra is often a simple syllable, such as Om, you can also use a meaningful word, like Love, or even a favorite scripture passage. The repetition of the words or sound gives you somewhere to rest your attention, and can be more calming than trying to empty out an anxious mind. In addition, focusing your awareness beyond yourself can help you feel more connected with a loving God or the oneness of humanity, rather than feeling helpless and alone.

The effects of meditation have a cumulative effect over time. If you continue to meditate regularly, you should feel a little less anxiety every day, and become more resilient to the impact of stress.

The best meditation for anxiety is a process, not a goal.

Sometimes people have difficulty when they first try meditation because they worry they aren’t doing it right, and they become even more anxious, thinking they have failed. So big news, there is no failure in meditation. And what’s best is really whatever works best for you.

If you are just starting out, take it slow. Try the deep breathing, and move on to something else whenever you feel ready. Be kind to yourself and proud that you are on your way. What are the best meditation methods for anxiety? Just remember…breathe, walk, pray.

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Why Can’t I Deal with Stress? 5 Myths That Hold You Back

By Janet Wolfe | March 30, 2021

Have you ever asked yourself “ why can’t I deal with stress, ” and then answered “because I am too stressed to deal with it?” Spot a vicious cycle here? When we don’t pay attention to our stress, we can get caught up in our own personal whirlwind. And when we look for answers, we create myths about stress, which actually make it worse.

Myth #1. “I can’t let go of my stress or the world will fall apart.” Do you consistently carry everyone’s problems? Many of us believe that is our assigned role in life. And if we harbor resentment over our enormous burdens, we simply add anger, frustration, and self pity to our load.

Deep down we all know the truth. The earth does not need us to keep spinning. Yes, some of our priorities are vitally important, but most of what we stress about is just day to day life. If you believe you need lots of commitments to feel valued, you won’t help anyone by taking on more than you can actually do. Instead, review your overstuffed agenda, give your time and energy to what really matters to you, and eliminate the rest.

Myth #2. “I don’t have time to deal with my stress.” Do you have 30 seconds? That’s about how long it takes for 2 or 3 slow, deep breaths. You can breathe deeply at stop lights or before you answer the phone. Although you may not notice your heart rate slowing down, even short bouts of conscious deep breathing throughout the day have a cumulative effect of lowering your stress.

If you tend to veg out in front of the TV at night, try muting the commercials, closing your eyes and imagining yourself floating through space. Count 15 or 20 slow breaths, and let your face relax into a smile.

Practice little bits of deep breathing throughout your day, extending the length when you have a chance. Soon you’ll realize how good it feels, and you’ll be more receptive to longer meditations.

Myth #3. “I need a drink, a pill, or a food binge to unwind.” After a hard day, it can be nice to kick off your shoes and relax with a little alcohol. But if a fine vintage enjoyed with friends or family turns into an automatic trip to the fridge as soon as you get home, it will cause you more stress in the long run.

Alcohol at night may make you feel drowsy, but the effects are brief, and will wake you up again. Too much food makes you feel bloated and dyspeptic. And pills? Well they are just dangerous.

A short Yoga routine after work helps release stress, and also curbs the desire to over indulge. When your body feels light and refreshed, it does just fine on its own.

Myth #4. “I’m too stressed to sleep…but sleep is overrated.” Dark circles from lack of sleep don’t get you a merit badge, even if you pulled an all-nighter to meet a deadline. Yes, sometimes there are emergencies, traumas, and disasters, which stretch us to the limits of our endurance. But without adequate sleep on a regular basis, your body can’t cope with the smallest of tasks.

Establish a pre-bedtime pattern of relaxation exercises and meditations to let go. Plan ahead for the next day, and set your schedule aside. Reinforce to yourself how good you will feel when you are refreshed the next day, and how more productive you will be.

Myth #5. “I have to be perfect to be loved.” Especially for women, the desire for perfection feeds stress we may have felt from our earliest memories, even if we never admit it. No toddler fails to notice which kids get more attention. And words like “pretty” and “adorable” precede extra hugs and kisses.

This stress to be perfect moved over 13 million people to visit plastic surgeons in 2010, and the numbers continue to rise. But looks are not the only area where we are faced with perfection anxiety. Academic credentials, careers, a better home and manicured lawn, the right car, and the title of Super Mom…something is always out of reach.

If you wonder why you can’t deal with the stress in your life, know you can make better choices. You can choose to let go of problems that are beyond your control. You can choose to take more moments of conscious relaxation, and you can choose healthier habits. How you spend your time in life is up to you. You can choose to let stress go. You are in control.

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What to Eat to Beat Depression

By Janet Wolfe | March 25, 2021

If you ever wonder what to eat to beat depression, you probably already know that ice cream by the gallon is not going to make the list. Some folks find depression takes away any desire to eat at all. Either way, eating foods high in essential nutrients gives you your best defense against depression, and gives a little comfort to your soul as well.

To beat grey moods, eat Technicolor foods. Nature has been giving us easy clues for millennia. When foods are brightly colored and attractive, they are probably good for you, and they can be eaten like snacks. An easy trick to remember is that darker and richer the color, the more nutritious they are.

Some people feel better when they cook. Messing about in the kitchen certainly gives you lots of healthy food options, and is a rare opportunity to attack stress with a big, sharp knife. But if the mere idea of cooking makes you more depressed, there are plenty of foods to beat depression that work fine both in recipes or right out off the tree, bush or vine.

Blueberries might be one of the healthiest foods on the planet. They are a powerful source of anti-oxidants and flavonoids, and have shown to benefit both your brain and circulation. Strawberries, blackberries, and raspberries share similar high nutrient value, and taste great. Raw berries have Vitamin C, and are a perfect finger food. If you can’t get fresh berries, frozen ones are good to have on hand, though better eaten with a spoon.
Cherries have been used for centuries to treat inflammation, which can help ease some of the achiness of depression. Bing cherries are usually the sweetest, and are a treat for your senses.
Raisins and other dried fruits pack a nutritional wallop. In fact, prunes rate highest on the riboflavonoid scale. Dried berries, cherries, and apricots are easy to store and easy to eat. Just be sure to drink plenty of water as well, so you don’t dry out yourself.
Tomatoes, Carrots, Greens and more. If you are not well acquainted with your local produce department, it is time to make friends. Just follow your tastes and the bright color rule, and you can’t go far wrong. Deep green vegetables are an excellent source of B6, B12 and Folate, which are especially important to eat to beat depression.

Eat fish, flaxseed, or hummus for vital Omega3s. Research has shown a link between depression and a deficit of Omega3 fatty acids. Omega3 is also known to benefit heart health, circulation, and eye health, so adding more to your diet can help you in many ways.

Excellent sources of Omega3 are wild salmon, tuna, and flax seeds, and even chia seeds. If you are not a fan of fish, try hummus on whole grain crackers, or as a vegetable dip.

Turkey sandwiches for protein, carbs and tryptophan. Turkey has long since moved away from just a holiday food, and that’s especially good if you are trying to beat depression. Turkey is a wonderful source of the amino acid tryptophan, which transforms into the feel good chemical serotonin in the brain.

The carbohydrates in whole grain bread help conduct the tryptophan to your brain, and provide B vitamins, and fiber. Turkey is also a low fat source of protein, which is important when you’re depressed. Use hummus instead of mayonnaise, add some tomato slices and dark fresh greens like spinach leaves, and you have a powerhouse anti-depression sandwich.

Dark chocolate is a mood lifter. In case you hadn’t heard, chocolate is good for you. Note I did not say “chocolates.” We are not talking bonbons or gooey candy bars here, which merely increase sugar cravings and create sugar crashes.

Dark chocolate by itself contains phenylethylamine, which has been shown to raise endorphin levels, and some compare to being in love. Chocolate with a cacao percentage of 60% works best, is lower in sugar, and if pared with nuts adds some protein and B vitamins. Melting some and dipping strawberries or dried apricots in it can make you feel truly indulgent.

Healthy comfort foods can make you feel cared for. When you were a child, did someone fix you special foods to make you feel better? Foods like chicken soup, eggnog, or custard? When you treat yourself to some of these foods, your body remembers what it felt like when someone else took care of you, and it relives those feelings of security and love.

Plus, some of our favorite comfort foods are truly good for us. Eggnog and custard, for example, contain protein from both milk and eggs, vitamins A, D, and B complex, calcium, iron, and lutein. Egg yolks also contain choline, which research links to a healthy brain.

Nature is abundant with what to eat to beat depression. And as long as you get the good things you need first, curling up with a little ice cream won’t hurt.

For further reading:

Foods That Harm, Foods That Heal, (2004), Reader’s Digest Books, Pleasantville, New York.

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How to Beat Depression When Unemployed

By Janet Wolfe | March 23, 2021

In earlier articles, we looked at how to deal with the stress of unemployment. But how do you beat depression when you become unemployed? What you do when first lose your job can make a big difference in how you feel later. A large part of beating depression happens if you can head it off before it starts.

Write down every good thing about yourself that you can think of. You probably have a lot of good work experience, but you also have talents and inner qualities that go far beyond your resume. As soon as you have gotten over the shock of being unemployed, start a list of all the great things that make you who you are. It is important to do this at the onset, before job hunting starts taking bites out of your self esteem.

You don’t have to do this all in one day. Keep the list open, and whenever you remember some success you had, or a time when you made someone’s day, jot it down. Ask friends and family what they consider your best qualities. You might be astonished at how much good they see.

Get up and get dressed every day. You don’t have to wear a business suit, but prepare yourself to face the day like a person with things to do. The action of dressing is like putting on armor against depression before it can hit you. It also defends you against the lure of the sofa and mindless TV.

If you are looking through job listings in a newspaper or online, being dressed makes you feel more serious about your endeavors, and reinforces that you are a person worth paying attention to.

Start your day with some exercise. Exercise will help you feel stronger and more confident, and help you order your thoughts. Without a regular work routine, it can be easy for your thinking to become disorganized, which adds to any depression you may feel. A brisk walk or workout gets your can-do attitude in line, and gives you a better chance at organizing your day.

Skip the all at once approach. It is not uncommon to hear of someone who sent out 200 resumes and then became thoroughly depressed when they got no response. So don’t set yourself up for a major fall. You’ll usually get better results if you research companies and approach a few at a time, with a targeted message based on what each of them needs.

Don’t become discouraged if you are screened by a machine. If you held the same job for a long time, it can be a shock to learn how the job application process has changed. Where once we might have dressed up and knocked on doors, now we may find we have to be cleared by a computer before a live person ever sees our application or resume…even if the person behind the door already wants to hire us.

Rejection by a computer can be horribly depressing, and make you feel like you’ll never catch a break. To beat the depression, take out your list of good qualities, read and re-read how super you are. Breathe deeply, stand up straight, and try again.

Do everything you can to take care of yourself. Job hunting is no easy task, and it is far too easy to jump from feeling simply unemployed to feeling worthless. You need to feel worthy of care and love, and you can help by giving yourself good food, rest, and simple treats like long hot baths to keep your health and your spirits up.

Take steps not to get isolated. The more you feel rejected, the more depressed you can start to be, and the less likely you want to go out and be involved in life. Consider asking a friend to phone you if they don’t hear from you for a while. If you are on a downward slide, someone who cares for you can do a lot to pull you back into the world.

Meditate or pray, and picture a brighter future. It can be hard to understand, but the reason you are unemployed may have nothing to do with you and who you are. I have a whole resume listing names of companies who bit the dust, taking me and sometimes hundreds of others down with them.

Spending time with whatever you picture as your source of abundance will help you rise above the challenges you face, and be your greatest weapon to beat depression when unemployed.

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