SGM Sept. 2013 Bonus Weekly Message: “Three Powerful Questions”

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Welcome back to the September 2013 Edition of Spiritual Growth Monthly. I’m Kevin Schoeninger. It’s great to have you with us, here at SGM.

In this month’s Bonus Weekly Message, I am going to respond to three of the most commonly asked questions that I receive from our clients and SGM members here at The Mind-Body Training Company.

Before we get to those questions, I’d like to express an observation and a related opinion that has been growing in my mind. I believe that we, those who are alive on this planet right now, are being called to shift our perspective in some major ways. I don’t believe that we can hold onto limiting beliefs, or negative emotional and behavioral patterns like we used to. I don’t think that we can hold onto small ways of thinking or a self-centered focus any longer. Life is pushing us to grow.

As an example, these past few weeks we are dealing with major flooding here in Colorado. While my home and family have been very fortunate compared to many others, here are some of the things we have been managing: our basement flooded in two rooms enough that we had to evacuate all the furniture, pull the carpet, ditch the padding, dry, bleach, and paint the floor, and re-lay the carpet. Three days after we thought we were done and had everything moved back in—a hidden toilet leak flooded the same area. We’re in the middle of that second run-through now.

My wife and I both work in client-based businesses and a majority of our clients have not been able to make their sessions, because they’re dealing with the same stuff we are—and more. So, big crimp in the finances—lots more money out, lots less coming in.

Now, you might say, well that’s the 100-year flood, infrequent incident, you handle it the best you can and move on. True, that’s just what you do. You handle things the best you can, you help each other, and move forward. But, there’s something more.

Have you noticed that stuff like this seems to be happening more frequently? I can list innumerable recent events that have upset the “normal routines” in my life and in lives I observe most everywhere I look in the world. These range from dramatic weather events, to human-made conflicts and tragedies, illnesses, technological breakdowns, traffic craziness, and other disruptions of “normal.” Does it seem to you that life used to slower, more predictable, and easier to manage?

Contemplating this, a message I am getting for myself is to continually let go of any ideas I have about how things “should be,” or even “what I think I want,” and just get really present, come back to center, pay attention, and focus on top priorities. Fortunately, I’ve practiced those skills a lot in my life. Now, I find I need them pretty much constantly. Given the ever-changing conditions in life these days, I persistently have to relax myself and see what is most important to do right now.

So, one point of this preamble is that, with all that is happening, I believe we are being faced with our “stuff,” to an unprecedented degree. As I talk to others, including many of you via email, I hear you saying the same things. Many, many people are feeling pressured and overwhelmed as never before in their lives.

I believe, we are being asked/pushed to go deeper, to find what’s essential, meaningful, and effective—and to help each other more. We are being asked to step out of our comfortable, self-limiting, self-centered habits and expand into a greater potential. In that context, I’d like to address three questions I receive pretty much every week here at The Mind-Body Training Company.

1. Let’s begin with the most general question: “I am meditating, being positive, and visualizing what I want, so why am I not getting the results I’m after?”

People often come to our programs seeking to de-stress and manifest better results in their health, relationships, and finances. When you purchase a program or start a practice, you do that because there are specific benefits you’re looking for—and when things don’t turn out exactly as you hoped—you’ll likely wonder why. You’ll probably question the program or the technique. When this happens, I suggest that maybe the program or technique is working and showing you something that you need to see.

I’ve found that the reason I think I am doing something often ends up being different from what the experience actually gives me. Life often has plans for me that I’m not aware of, and my Core inclinations just show me next steps to take, not necessarily where those next steps will lead. Many times my ideas about something just aren’t accurate, or I discover things that I had no idea I needed to discover. If I am stuck on what I think I wanted, I may miss what I need to get.

Here are some points to consider if you’re not getting the results you desire:

-You may not be aligned with what is right for you in a given situation; what you are trying for might not be the result you really need.

-You may be focused on the right result, but need to try a new way of doing what you’re doing or have a new perspective about it.

-You may need to pause and notice what there is for you to discover and learn in what is actually happening in this part of your life.

2. This leads to question two: “I started meditating, but I feel more negative. How do I stop my negative thoughts and feelings?”

My first response to this is that negative thoughts and feelings arise for a reason—and they just might hold the answers you’re seeking. Meditation is a tool you can use to tune into all types of inner guidance, including the guidance you can receive from negative thoughts and feelings.

While meditation is a powerful tool to relax and find your calm center, as you practice, you will also start to release layers of “old stuff.” You then have “the opportunity” to witness your limiting thoughts, feelings, and beliefs instead of distracting yourself, avoiding them, or numbing out. This may not feel comfortable, but it is vitally important for healing, integration, and growth.

While negative thoughts and feelings may be challenging, meditation practice also gives you skills to help you move through them. In meditation, you learn to witness whatever comes up without identifying with it, fixating on it, or being so overwhelmed by it. You learn to have much more direct perceptions of what is actually happening and you learn to be more fluid, allowing experiences to come and go naturally. In this way, you feel what you need to feel, learn what you need to learn, and discover actions that you’re being asked to take. Challenges grow your skills.

So, in response to this second question, I’d say, don’t try to stop your negative thoughts and feelings. Instead, pay attention to them, be present with them, allow them to inform you, and use the energy they give you for appropriate action. Then, they will naturally resolve.

3. This brings us to the third question, which is the one I am most frequently asked. It goes something like this: When I sit the way you suggest for meditation, my back and neck hurts. Do I have to sit this way?

First, let me say that the reason I make such a point of sitting in a specific posture for meditation, is that your body is an expression of your mind, heart, and spirit. What you are thinking, feeling, and creating in your life is reflected in how your body functions and how you carry yourself. Posture is one of the best ways to witness that and do something about it.

Using posture cues is a powerful way to come into the present moment, notice how you are carrying yourself, and shift into a relaxed, positive, empowered state of being. Tuning into your posture and into physical sensations in your body is also one of the best ways to tap into inner guidance. Don’t underestimate the value of postural awareness.

With that premise in mind, let me say that it’s natural to feel your back and/or neck ache when you begin meditating in an unsupported upright position. This will naturally resolve as you continue to practice consistently over time. That being said, you can practice Core Energy Meditation or most any meditation technique in any variety of positions, including lying down, if necessary. For some people, physical conditions make this necessary, for others, this is necessary for a period of time.

However, as it’s possible, I do recommend finding a seat that allows you to sit upright, without back support, with the soles of your feet solidly on the ground for several reasons:

-Sitting upright without back support aligns your spine, releases spinal tension, improves nerve conductivity to all your muscles and organs, and builds spinal and core strength. This increases energy flow and builds focus, confidence, will power, and intent.

-Having the soles of your feet flat on the ground is “grounding” for your energy field. It helps you relax, feel supported, and be present.

-Being in an upright position more easily translates your meditative experience to your experiences in everyday life, most of which you do in an upright position.

Here are some tips which can make this posture easier:

First, having the right seat height is essential, so that you are not slouching and not straining your muscles. An ideal seat height puts your feet flat on the ground and your hips level with or slightly above your knees. If chairs don’t do that for you, you can try sitting on the edge of a couch, bed, or anything that is just the right height. Personally, I purchased a padded bench that is just the right height for my practice.

When you first sit in this way, it’s likely that your back and neck will tire quickly and/or that you’ll feel tension along your spine from unbalanced alignment, stored tension, and/or muscular weakness. So, my suggestion is to sit this way for a few minutes, accepting whatever you feel/experience—and relaxing as best as you can. When you tire, slide back against a seat-back for the remainder of your meditation time.

As you release spinal tension, come into better alignment, and strengthen those spinal muscles, you can gradually extend the amount of time that you sit forward, unsupported. This posture is phenomenal spinal therapy and an under-rated way to improve your health, energy, focus, confidence, willpower, and intent.

I would love to hear your thoughts on any of the above in the Discussion below. In next month’s Weekly Messages we’ll focus on “Reclaiming Your Power,” as we continue through our exploration of the 12 Stages of Healing. I look forward to joining you again next week.

Until next time,
What is life showing you through the experiences you’re having?
Kevin