SGM Oct. 2013 Weekly Message Three: “Perfect Timing and Momentum”
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Welcome back to the October 2013 Edition of Spiritual Growth Monthly. I’m Kevin Schoeninger. It’s great to have you with us here at SGM!
I hope you’re having some important personal insights and shifts as we explore “The 12 Stages of Healing” by Dr. Donald Epstein. Whatever you want to grow in your life right now, the 12 Stages are a roadmap for the natural progression you’ll follow to get where you want to go.
So, what is important for you to commit to and grow in your life right now? As you read or listen to this Weekly Message I encourage you to let that question percolate in the back of your mind.
Now, as we reach the half-way point on this path, with Stage Six this week, I want to take a moment to reinforce how you might apply this material in your life. The main idea here is that there are many different stages to your healing and transformation—and different insights and actions are appropriate at each stage. What works for you at one point in time will not be appropriate at another point in time, because you move on to different stages where you’ll benefit from different insights and tools. These stages apply to your work, relationships, personal goals, and self-care practices.
This brings up another important concept—timing. There is a perfect timing to the stages of your personal growth. In order to move as smoothly as possible along your path, it’s essential that you tune into what you need at each moment, no matter what anyone else tells you that you need to do.
You are your own best guide. And, as you become attuned to your inner state, you’ll get better and better at fulfilling that role. Only you know when to stick it out and when to move on—whether that’s in a job, a relationship, or building a business. There’s a perfect timing of the right actions that will work best for you. And, you will find yourself naturally taking the right actions at the right time when you are tuned into your needs in the particular stage in which you find yourself at any given time.
As you pay attention to what you need at any given moment, you’ll be able to move through the stages naturally without having to “try too hard” or “make things happen.” When you receive what you need from one stage, you will naturally find yourself moving into the next one. As you participate in this process again and again, you’ll understand the significance of each stage and gain patience not to try to rush through, but to move through each stage as you are ready—in the perfect timing for you.
Now, let’s explore the significance of Stage Six. Epstein calls this an “action and transition stage.” (p.97, 12SOH) By this he means that, at Stage Six, you may naturally find yourself inspired to make lifestyle changes and take up self-care practices, such as eating healthy, exercising, meditating, and committing to living your life purpose. Before Stage Six, you may have been resistant to these practices, even if you “knew they were good for you.” Now, you find yourself naturally drawn to them. You are ready to make new commitments to yourself.
In alignment with your inspiration, you may find that opportunities and information you need to make these changes appear almost “magically.” For instance, you get an email for a free trial of a meditation program, or a friend tells you about her new eating plan and it feels like just what you need, the gym around the corner sends you a coupon for a consultation with a trainer, or you wake up in the middle of the night with a key piece of information about a business you want to start.
Epstein tells the story of a client, Richard, who spontaneously let go old eating habits and excess weight in Stage Six. Richard said, “I have always eaten things that have made me feel very sick and brought on asthma. Wheat, big meals, a lot of food, and anything and everything I could stuff down my throat. . . I know what not to touch and eat. The miracle is that I don’t do it anymore . . . And aside from (not triggering my asthma by poor eating habits), I’ve lost ten pounds.” (p.102, 12SOH)
This newfound shift usually feels very good. It feels magical to do what you’ve always wanted but never been able to do. This gives you even more energy to move forward. You wonder why you haven’t done this before. I often see this with clients who first come to me for therapeutic exercise or meditation instruction. The first several sessions feel great and they get all fired up—then an unexpected thing happens.
You encounter a “healing crisis.” You experience a buildup of tension, discomfort, or even find yourself feeling ill. Physiologically, your body releases toxins related to your old habits and as these flood into your bloodstream it doesn’t feel good. In the fitness world, this happens so commonly to “newbies” that it has a name. It’s called the “workout flu.”
A client will often attribute the workout flu to the fact that they have started working out—and they’re right! This might lead to the thought that they should stop working out—but quitting is not the answer. If they’ll just drink some extra water, get a little extra rest, and understand that this is just part of the clearing process, the workout flu will soon pass and they will quickly progress to a new level in their training.
A similar thing can happen with many self-care and personal-growth activities. Your new self-care or personal growth action will release stuck energy around an old issue which floods into your system. At the same time, you feel an increase in positive energy from engaging in your new inspiring activity. All this energy builds a forward momentum in your system that rubs up against your old habits.
This is a necessary moment in the healing process. Though it doesn’t feel good, it is a signal that you are about to make a significant leap forward “out of the old into the new.” You may feel the farthest away from a new level when you are right at the edge of entering that new territory.
Beginning a meditation practice is excellent example of this. Your first few sessions may feel good. You let go of a surface layer of tension and experience a bit of relaxation. Then, as you continue your practice, it’s very common to notice incessant thoughts, negative feelings, and all sorts of things besides a quiet mind, calm emotions, and a relaxed body.
Again, many people will blame this on the meditation itself. I often hear things like, “I never felt all this before I began to meditate.” They may be quick to blame the technique or to say that meditation just doesn’t work for them. However, it’s at this point that the meditation is actually really starting to do its’ work.
First, you are becoming more self-aware of the thoughts and feelings that have been lurking under the surface of your conscious awareness. Second, these are starting to release. And, if you follow the technique of meditation, by simply observing them and allowing them to pass by and resolve, you develop a whole new relationship to any thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you have. You allow them to come and go without identifying with them or being overwhelmed by them. Because of that, they naturally resolve and you are able to move forward.
So, although your moments of illness, negativity, and tension feel like steps backwards, they are necessary steps into new dimensions of consciousness, fulfillment, and success.
Dr. Epstein gives us a breathing exercise to help us move through this buildup of energy that leads to tension in Stage Six. This practice will help you move toward the resolution that is ahead of you in Stage Seven. Here it is:
(p. 107, 12SOH)
For this exercise, lie down on your back on a comfortable surface. Breathe in and out softly through your nose. If you have a specific issue you are working with at the moment call it into your awareness.
Scan your body and notice any areas of tension or restriction. Allow your hands to move in circles over those areas and synchronize your breathing with your hand movements. If no specific area calls to you, you can circle your hands over your abdomen.
After you have settled into a nice rhythm of circular hand movements and breathing, allow your hands and your body to move in any way that they want to.
A motion you may naturally find yourself doing at this stage is a sweeping motion down through your abdomen and legs, releasing energy downwards and out of your body.
In conjunction with whatever motions you find yourself doing, here are some good affirmations to repeat as you move through Stage Six:
“I am building positive momentum”
“I am ready to let go and move forward”
Continue moving, breathing, and stating these affirmations until you find yourself naturally becoming quiet and still. Enjoy the still silence until you feel ready to get up.
I would love to hear your Comments in the Discussion below.
In next Week’s Message, we’ll experience the resolution of releasing the old, so we can prepare to fully welcome a new empowered way of being that awaits us.
Until next week,
What self-care or personal growth commitments do you feel called to right now?
Kevin