SGM April 2017 Weekly Message Four: “Know What To Do–But Not Doing It?!”
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Welcome to this week’s edition of Spiritual Growth Monthly. I’m Kevin Schoeninger. It’s great to have you with us here at SGM!
What does that say about how you are thinking about yourself? Could it be that you are not valuing yourself enough to take care of yourself? What if taking care of yourself is the only way you’ll have the health, energy, and inspiration to take care of others and contribute what you have to offer in the world?
We also have things we want to do, but don’t seem to be able to do them. Perhaps it’s a vacation, a creative project, a new job or business venture? For some reason, other things we think we have to do always seem to get in the way.
What if that thing you’ve always wanted to do is the key to fully living your purpose? It might not seem that important, but what if doing that is the key to your health, happiness, and inspiration? What if it is the key to being a powerful attractor for the good things you desire for yourself and others? What if your interests are guiding signals about who you are and what you are here to do?
Asking these questions can help bring to the fore something that you’d like to start doing, something that you’d like to finally follow through on and implement in your life. Once you have something in mind, the question becomes how do you get started and, even, more importantly, how do you get yourself to stick with it?
We all have many inspirations, good ideas, and positive intentions. But, only certain ones really stick.
In this week’s message, we’ll explore two questions to help you move past procrastination and four simple tips to get into action on your best intentions.
Then, we’ll investigate why certain things become ongoing pursuits, while others fall by the wayside. Understanding the Phases of Practice can give you powerful insight into how to move through the necessary steps to grow the experiences that are most important to you.
1. Why is what you are going to do important to you?
2. How exactly are you going to do it? What techniques or steps will you use?
If you have something that you should do or want to do, but haven’t gotten yourself to do it, there are two reasons you might be procrastinating. Either, it’s just not that important to you, or you aren’t exactly sure how to go about doing it. If you can answer “why” it’s important and “how” you are going to do it, you’ll give yourself a big boost in the direction of action.
Think of something that you want to or need to do. . .
1. Do you know why that’s important to you? Will it make life easier, happier, healthier, more purposeful and enjoyable? Will it help you avoid a bad outcome that you really don’t want to have to deal with? Will it help someone else? Will it contribute to a better life for you and others here on the Planet?
For example, I work with a lot of people who have back or neck pain or who have just gone through surgery and need to rehab. Surprisingly, many doctors do not stress the importance of what patients can/need to do themselves to get better. The emphasis is often on the drugs or surgery provided by the doctor and not on self-care.
Yet, it’s the self-care that is going to make the biggest difference in recovery and healing and in preventing re-lapse. Ongoing self-care is what’s going to activate the body’s incredible self-healing response.
Most often, I have to harp on the importance and effectiveness of what clients can do for themselves—and how that is what’s going to make the biggest difference in them getting to where they want to be. If they aren’t engaged in ongoing strengthening, stretching, nutrition, stress-reduction, and rest, their body is not going to recover. In fact, it’s going to de-generate, so they aren’t able to do the things they want to do.
It sometimes takes a while to get that message across, but, when it does, the light goes on and people spring into action. If you know why something is truly important to you, it will move to the top of your To-Do List, which is the only place where things get done.
Once you know that something is important for you to do, the second question to answer is how to do it.
2. How exactly are you going to do it? What techniques or steps will you use?
How many times do you procrastinate doing something because you don’t know exactly how to do it? When you don’t know how to do something, when you don’t know the exact steps or technique, the task seems daunting and overwhelming. When you think of doing it, you get a sinking feeling, a feeling of being defeated before you even start.
That has happened to me frequently in using technology, marketing my programs, and doing my taxes.
Perhaps, in the past, you’ve tried and failed at the activity you are procrastinating doing? What did you learn that can help you do better this time?
Perhaps you can do a little research online and find out what you need to know to be successful? Is there someone who knows how to do what you want to do who can help you out? Are there any tools you need? Is there any step-by-step guidance available? Once you know the steps, it’s much easier to move into action.
With anything that you’ve been procrastinating, if you can answer why it’s important and learn exactly how to do it easily and effectively, you will grease the wheels of action. Now, you are ready to move forward. Here are four simple tips to help you take action.
1. Even a little is beneficial.
Sometimes getting started just feels like too much effort. If you give yourself permission to do just a little, it can free you from that sense of burden. Even a little action done consistently can create something new. So, give yourself permission to do just a little.
Define an amount that feels definitely doable. I suggest you pick an amount that feels like enough to make a difference, but not too much that it feels daunting.
For example, does five minutes of meditation feel doable? Does a 15-minute lunchtime walk feel doable? Does it feel doable to start the day with a healthy smoothie to initiate your new eating plan? What if you gave that big clean-up project an hour every Saturday? What if you read one page a day to support your spiritual practice?
Every big project, skill, or achievement is the result of countless small actions. What if you took one small action every day? Even a few minutes of activity is world’s better than sitting on the couch.
In my experience, once I get past initial resistance, once I am a minute or two into my practice, I get into the flow and start to enjoy it.
2. Do it in a way you enjoy.
No matter what you have to do, there are more and less enjoyable ways to do it. Choose a way that is most enjoyable for you.
For example, if you want to meditate, you can simply follow your breathing, or follow a guided meditation, find a meditation partner, or go to a meditation group. What sounds most enjoyable for you?
If you want to exercise, you could start with daily walking first thing in the morning or at lunch, meet with a trainer, find a workout buddy, or join a class. What would you look forward to doing most?
Even things you don’t look forward to doing can become more enjoyable when done in certain ways, while they can be complete drudgery when done in other ways. Consider your personality, your likes and dislikes, and what works best for you.
3. Remember how you feel after taking action.
After you have taken action, before you rush off to the next thing, take a moment to notice how you feel. Do you feel accomplished? Do you feel energized? Do you feel inspired to do this again? If not, how could you change what you’re doing to make it feel even better?
When something feels good, take a few moments to really soak in that experience. Record that feeling in every cell of your body, so you will remember it. Then, you can contrast this feeling with how you feel when you don’t do your practice.
I do this with workouts and meditation to get me going on days when I don’t feel like it. I recall how good I feel when I’m done and contrast this with how I feel if I skip my routine. The positive memory and contrast gets me moving. This is especially effective if I combine it with the first two tips. I tell myself that I just need to do a small amount and that I can do it in the way that is most enjoyable for me.
Now, certainly, there are some days when you are just too tired, sick, or just need a break. I suggest that you give yourself a free pass one day a week, so that you can come back to your practice fresh the next day. With your free pass, you might try a different activity altogether or simply give yourself a rest. This can take any compulsive edge and resistance out of what you are doing.
4. Incorporate your new action into an established routine.
The easiest way to start a new action habit is to incorporate it into a routine you already have. For example, workout at a gym that is on your normal drive home from work. Put your supplements out next to your coffee, so you remember to take them. Meditate as part of your waking up routine, perhaps right after going to the bathroom and before you get breakfast and shower. Take a walk at your lunch break. Read a spiritual book when you lie down to go to bed.
How can you make the new thing you want to do a part of a routine you already do?
Or, you may not be quite ready. In order to initiate and sustain an ongoing practice, it’s important to recognize common stages that any practice goes through. For example, it’s natural to feel great the first time you try something and then hit obstacles as you continue. It’s also natural to feel overwhelmed the first time you do something and never want to repeat it. That’s o.k. not everything is meant to be an ongoing practice. Some things we do for a momentary insight or to help us say “No, not that.”
However, uncomfortable moments are not necessarily an indicator that you should stop what you are doing. It can be powerful to know that there are several phases to establishing and maintaining any effective practice. You may go through these in order or you may cycle between them. If you find yourself going through several of these steps, you are likely on the path of establishing something that is truly important to you.
By understanding these phases you can identify them in your own practice and know that they are normal and “O.K.” You also may see a phase that you need to go through in order to build a practice that is maximally effective. Here are some Common Phases of Practice:
1. Clearly identify your need, your Why?
2. Research different options
3. Gain belief in the most effective approach for you by “dabbling”
4. Decide to take action
5. Make a plan with very doable steps
6. Commit to take specific action at a specific time and place
7. Act on your plan
8. Persist on those days when you don’t feel like it by remembering your “Why”
9. Learn from successes and failures and make adjustments based on what works
10. View your practice as a dynamic living process rather than a fixed routine
You see that the first six phases of practice happen before you are ready to take action. These are crucial phases that prepare you for action. So, if you are in these initial phases, don’t be hard on yourself. Do your background work as needed. At a certain point, this preparatory work propels you forward into action.
It might take a few minutes, a few months, or longer to go through these steps. A good salesperson can take you through the first seven phases fairly quickly in leading you to take action on a purchase. When you are establishing a new practice, you are, in effect, selling yourself on taking action. Recognizing these phases and using the insights and tips above will help you navigate these phases and move into the consistent action that will grow something new.
“myth of perfection” that intimidates us from acting.
Life is a journey. We learn as we go. We make adjustments based on what we discover in the process. That’s the nature of life. We’re here to have experiences, go with the flow, gain insights, and grow new skills.
Practice is the way we grow. It’s all about taking consistent intentional action, no matter how big or small. Once we are engaged in action, the activity takes on a life of its own and carries us forward.
So, what do you want to grow in your life? What is a next step on that path? What if you took that action today?
I would love to hear your insights, questions, and experiences about establishing your own practices in our Discussion below.
Until next time,
Enjoy your practice!
Kevin